Wednesday, January 24, 2007

What's Wrong with me?

What's wrong with me?
I’m hurting everyday.
My bones,
My back,
My fingers,
My legs,
My toes.
I walk different now.
I walk with a slight lean to the left.
When did that start?
What's wrong with me?
At times my head feels full of water.
I swear I can hear the water sloshing around.

What does that mean?
I sometimes start to limp on my right foot for no reason.
It just happens.
The other day I was driving through Santa Fe and I swear I felt like I was starting to float.

I stopped my car and pulled over next to a cactus.
The sun was laughing at me.
Taunting me.
I shook my fist at it like some kind of crazy loon.
I felt like those people that hang out in bus stations all night.
My god!
What's wrong with me?
So I got out of my car and still felt a bit weightless.
I thought I could shake it off.
Was it something I ate?
Something I drank?
How bout that new herbal enhancement drug I was taking?
Suddenly I started to rise.
I swear.
I started to…
I rose up.
Straight up.
I wasn’t going side to side or straight ahead.
I just started to go up.
I thought about children walking home from school pointing up and asking a schoolmate.
“Whose that fat homeless guy in the sky?”

I thought about cars veering off the freeway crashing as people were trying to get a glimpse of me rising up higher and higher.
A Code red Stage 9 terrorist alert was sounded through the state.
Was I gonna fall?
Would I go into space?
Would I freeze to death?
I always thought flying would be cool.

But I always find a way to turn my dreams into nightmares.
What's wrong with me?

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